local girl has crisis after submitting all her college apps

I applied to college as a STEM major (biology/biochemistry/whatever.) I love learning science, I do, and I’ve spent so much of my high school experience seeking out science and medicine related activities that I’m a great premed applicant. However.

The thing that really puts wind in my sails is theatre. It keeps me going through all the horrible school times and makes me happy. And I think I’m pretty good at it (or at least, according to my schools production staff, I’m pretty good… they’ve all been surprised that I didn’t apply to acting/musical theatre programs.)

Anyways, now that I’m waiting on decisions, I’ve realized just how much I don’t want to pursue the path I’ve been working towards for years. I have no interest in being a science girl and killing myself in labs and classes for years and taking on crazy debt for a degree/career/etc that I will dread.

I wish I had applied for theatre— yes, I know there’s like no job security, and it’s a hard life, but it’s truly the only thing I can see myself doing. I can’t imagine leaving theatre on a back burner or having to leave it behind completely.

I’m just feeling a little stuck and needed to rant :/ advice appreciated as always!