My life with wpw

Hello, Sorry if my English is not great, it's not my first language, I want to write this because I feel like I don't have anyone to speak it with or someone who understands me, when I was 9 years old I was diagnosed with wpw at that time I didn't think anything bad, rather I was happy 😭 I thought it made me different from the others, so I spent the years taking flecanaide and Metropolol and I felt good. Sometimes I would get sick, but I would relax for a little while and it would go away. At that time I lived in Mexico in a small town where the nearest hospital was 2 hours away, now just thinking about it scares me 😭 when I was 14 I moved to the United States and I started seeing a cardiologist here and he told me that I was going to have an ablation when I was 15 and that he was very sure that it would be successful but it didn’t and I had to continue with medication. at 16, my doctor transferred me to another cardiologist highly recommended by him and that cardiologist performed another ablation on me and it was successful as the doctor said but after 3 days I I started to feel bad again and I went to the doctor, they did tests and everything went well but I continued to feel bad and it was like that for a long time that I couldn't even eat because my heart felt fast. After a while the doctor decided to do another ablation on me the EKGs didn't show anything but he still did the ablation and the doctor told me that I still had another pathway behind the heart or something like that, he explained it to me and that ablation didn't go well and he gave me medication and I started to feel well again and with the time he told me that he wanted to try another ablation, I didn't want to because I was already tired of it not working but I still decided that he would do it and again he told me that the ablation was a success but a week later I started to feel my heart again fast and a lot of palpitations again he put monitors on my heart he did a lot of ekgs and nothing ever came out and he started saying it was anxiety so I was there for a long time I had to go to school feeling palpitations and my heart was very fast eventually I graduated and without being able to work because I felt like I couldn't do anything, and the truth is I suffered a lot, despite that I got depressed, one year of being like this my dad forced me to go with him to cut a yard since he thought it was just anxiety and I didn't want to go but I still went and my heart accelerated to 215-230 beats and that episodes have happened to my heart before but it only from 5 minutes to 15 but that time I was almost 1 hour 20 minutes like that until They gave me something that made my heart stop and beat normally again. After seeing that, the doctor gave me flecanaide and metropolol again and the truth is I have been much better. Sometimes I still feel bad but not like before. I still can't work much but I still started my company selling beef jerky, but I miss how it was before when I could exercise and do almost everything without feeling bad now anything I do and I feel bad, the truth is I'm getting sick of it Living like this sometimes makes me want to end this, I hate seeing that my dad is not well off financially and not being able to do anything to help him, I hate wanting to go to the gym and not being able to, I just want to have a normal life, I think about how my life could be If I didn't have this and it would be totally different and better, these days I've been feeling even worse but the only thing I think it could be is that I started taking accutane 1 month ago but I don't know if it has anything to do with it. Thank you very much for reading this, I could write much more but I would never finish.